The following is a verbal transcript of Chapter 4 from Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy.
(Notes: Conversation subtitles are unofficial. They are provided in order to help visibility. Currently, tabber works as intended only on desktop skins.)
Sell Groot/Rocket to Lady Hellbender[]
- Arrival
(Fade in.)
Drax: (Distant.) At last!
Star-Lord: Huh?!
Drax: (Distant.) We have arrived at the monster queen's fortress!
Gamora: (Distant.) At its entrance, anyway.
- Plan (Selling Groot)
Gamora: As I was saying, you don't trust me, Rocket?
Rocket: With Groot?! Flark, no! I ain't putting his bark solely in your hands.
Gamora: Your call, Peter.
Rocket: You're just jealous my plan's better. You're green with envy.
Gamora: Better than black and blue.
Rocket: Try it, lady. I got twelve thousand volts with your name on it.
Gamora: Could really use a voice of reason here, Peter.
- Side with Rocket
- Side with Gamora
- (...)
Star-Lord: I'm sure you make a great point, Gamora, but I gotta go with Rocket. For... reasons.
Rocket: HA! Eat scut, Whoberi.
Star-Lord: And, I mean, I know what I'm agreeing to, but just for everyone else, can you explain that again?
Rocket: [sigh] After we sell Groot, we sneak back in and use my tracking device to find him and bust him out.
Star-Lord: Oh. Yeah, that! Easy peasy.
Gamora: What could go wrong?
Star-Lord: I'm sure you can trust Gamora with... that thing that I was definitely paying attention to. I trust her with my life.
Rocket: I'd trust her with your life too. Just not with Groot's.
Star-Lord: Okay. Mean.
Gamora: I've got a lot more experience sneaking into places than you do.
Rocket: I still say me and my tracking device would have better odds of finding him.
Gamora: Not without sounding every alarm in the process. And you've been outvoted.
Rocket: Uh, Quill's asleep at the helm, which means I'm in charge - and we're doing my plan.
Drax: The plan with the insect.
Rocket: It's not an actual bug. It's a tracker, so we can keep tabs on Groot after we sell him.
Gamora: Fine, but you're responsible for sneaking the four of us back in tonight.
Rocket: Not a problem.
- Plan (Selling Rocket)
Gamora: So. As I was saying, I can handle a little solo extraction.
Rocket: (Inside cage.) No offense, but you ain't exactly invested in my safe return. My skin, my plan.
Gamora: Your call, Peter.
Rocket: The flark it is! I'm the one in the box, lady.
Drax: Peter Quill is our leader. The burden of your possible death falls on his shoulders.
Rocket: Okay, now we're definitely doing my plan.
- Side with Rocket
- Side with Gamora
- (...)
Star-Lord: Fully on board with Rocket's plan that I was totally paying attention to.
Rocket: See? Even Captain Space Cadet don't trust your gymnastics.
Star-Lord: Wait, what about gymnastics?
Gamora: I just think we shouldn't be relying on a piece of tech you won't even be around to use.
Rocket: It ain't neutrino splicing, it's a tracker. Even you mouth-breathers can figure it out.
Star-Lord: A tracker... On you... So we can steal you back! Great idea, Rocket! Let's do this!
Star-Lord: Since I was for sure listening, I'm gonna go with Gamora's solo-whatever.
Rocket: You're gonna let her just go in alone and steal me back?
Star-Lord: I am? I mean, I am.
Gamora: I've done this sort of thing a hundred times.
Rocket: And every time were you sneaking in to kill someone?
Gamora: Mostly.
Rocket: Greaaaat.
Rocket: ...Seeing as Captain Space Cadet is off in the clouds and it's my skin.
Gamora: Fine. Tell me how to work this stupid tracker of yours.
Rocket: Oh no, Groot's the only one I trust with my life. He'll be in control of it. End of discussion!
(Idle banter.)
- Domain
(If Groot is being sold.)
Rocket: Man, look at this place. This broad ain't exactly subtle.
Drax: Mind your disrespectful tongue. We are in her domain now.
Rocket: I thought the jungle was her "domain".
Drax: This is the inner domain of her domain.
- Comfort
(If Rocket is being sold.)
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: It ain't exactly Casino Cosmico in here. Just be glad we didn't cram your branches in this box.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: That ain't what I meant. You know I don't want you in here. I'm fine. Stop worrying.
- Ego
Gamora: This place is huge.
Star-Lord: Maybe Hellbender really is a giant.
Gamora: Or she just needs somewhere to store her ego.
Drax: The ego does not require storage. It is immaterial.
- Sacrificial offering
Gamora: Anyone else notice all the creepy religious stuff?
Star-Lord: This place has got a real "human sacrifice" sorta vibe.
Drax: Your weak frame would make you an ideal sacrificial offering.
Star-Lord: Super.
Drax: Do not fear, Peter Quill. I will not allow any harm to befall you, if it is reasonably within my means to prevent.
- Walking past
Merchant: [Alien chatter]
- Approaching gate
Hellraiser: Hey, look what we've got coming.
Hellraiser: Ugh. Are they serious?
Hellraiser: Guess we're going to find out.
- Gate
Hellraiser: Name?
Star-Lord: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Hellraiser: Never heard of you.
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Rocket: Well, you do live on a mudball in the middle of nowhere.
Hellraiser: What's that?
Star-Lord: What he means is, you will have. We're huge in the Kree system.
Groot: I am Groot.
Star-Lord: Bona fide monster sellers.
Gamora: (Low voice.) Today, anyway.
Hellraiser: What's in the box?
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: A rare creature, last of his kind, and all around swell guy.
Hellraiser: Looks like a bush.
Drax: It is a tree.
Groot: (Muffled.) I am Groot!
Hellraiser: A talking tree. That's new.
Star-Lord: A monstrous abomination from Halfworld and the meanest S.O.B. in the quadrant.
Hellraiser: Pass.
Rocket: (Muffled.) Pass?!
Star-Lord: (Low voice.) Rocket.
Rocket: (Muffled.) I mean--Roaaarrr!
Hellraiser: Thing's puny.
Drax: It is a Hell-beast, the namesake of your mistress. You would be wise to reconsider.
Hellraiser: Alright, get going. Before I change my mind. (Lets them pass.) And if the Lady don't like it, I'll be carting out what's left of you in that box.
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: Thanks, officer! Have a nice day!
Gamora: (Low voice.) Officer?
Rocket: (Low voice.) Whatever.
Gamora: (Low voice.) "Hell-beast?"
Drax: It is an accurate moniker. The little beast has a hellish demeanor.
Rocket: (Muffled.) I like it!
- Elevator
Gamora: Not exactly an easy way out if this all goes to hell.
Star-Lord: It's gonna go great. We got a killer monster and a solid plan.
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: What, I'm supposed to be scared, just 'cause she's got "hell" in her name? She runs a glorified zoo.
(View of a pen with numerous Warthos.)
Gamora: That's no zoo...
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: Any chance they're the zookeepers? With guns?
Drax: I have never seen a Warthos tamed, but I have seen one trample a man to pulp.
Star-Lord: It's fine. Worst comes to worst, we hightail it for the Milano.
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Rocket: Unless she's got a fleet of Shi'ar dropships.
Star-Lord: Yeah. Like she's got a buncha ships to take her whole Monster Mash on tour.
Gamora: Your genius plan is "run away"?
Star-Lord: Backup plan, which we're not gonna need. But yeah: It's not like she can chase after us with her whole Monster Mash.
(View of shipdock. Garek and Rosson Blood can be seen.)
Garek: (Distant.) NO ONE touches our ship, scutstain.
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: Oh, come on!
Drax: Why did we not simply dock here and avoid the planet's inhospitable surface?
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Gamora: Great question.
Rocket: Next time, I'm flying.
Drax: Indeed!
Star-Lord: We needed time to iron out the plan. Now it's foolproof.
Drax: Lady Hellbender is no fool.
Gamora: When her monster goes missing, she'll assume it was us.
Star-Lord: Assume, yes - but not know. Not chase-us-across-the-Galaxy level of know, at least.
(If Groot is being sold.)
(View of multiple fortress levels.)
Rocket: Are you flarkin' kiddin' me? Look at this place!
(If Peter sided with Rocket or said nothing.)
Rocket: It'll take forever to find Groot after we sell him!
Drax: Peter Quill expects you to use your insect device.
Gamora: Bug. What's the matter, Rocket? Getting cold feet?
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: No... it's fine. If I can track Star-Nuts, I can track you.
Gamora: Care to wager?
- Reassure
- Reverse psychology
- (...)
Star-Lord: Relax, Rocket. We've got your tracker-thing, right?
Rocket: It don't exactly draw us a map, Quill. It's more like a hot/warm sorta thing.
Star-Lord: You mean hot/cold, right?
Rocket: What?
Star-Lord: Alright, Gamora! Looks like you're up!
Gamora: Makes sense.
Rocket: What?! Like scut she is!
Star-Lord: Look, Rocket. Let's compromise. We'll use your tracker but we all go.
Rocket: Fine. Whatever.
(If Peter sided with Gamora.)
Rocket: How's Gamora supposed to find Groot once we've "sold" him?
Gamora: I'll find someone who knows, and listen.
Rocket: You're gonna ask for directions?!
Gamora: Never said I'd ask.
Rocket: Screw this! I'm not gonna let you just wing it with Groot. We're doing it my way.
Gamora: I'm not winging it.
- Reassure
- Change plans
- (...)
Star-Lord: Gamora knows what she's doing. She'll... find a map or something.
Gamora: Because I'm the navigator, right?
Rocket: Then navigate yourself outta my way. I'm taking my tracking device and I'll get him out myself.
Star-Lord: Rocket's got a point.
Gamora: Thaanks.
Star-Lord: No one's more sneaky or badass, Gamora, but this place is a maze.
Gamora: So give me your stupid tracker thing.
Rocket: No flarking way!
Gamora: And if you're so worried, then just give me your stupid tracking device.
Rocket: You can take it from my cold, dead paws.
(If Rocket is being sold.)
(View of multiple fortress levels.)
Gamora: Wow! Look at this place. I am in the wrong line of work.
Drax: It is appropriately impressive for a warrior of Lady Hellbender's stature.
Rocket: (Muffled.) Someday, that's gonna be our stature.
Drax: Hah. Not yours.
Rocket: (Muffled.) Come over near the cage and say that again!
Drax: Good, hell-beast! Let them hear your bestial howls!
- Fantasize
- Focus
- (...)
Star-Lord: This place is cool and all, but could it fit the entire Guardians of the Galaxy fleet?
Drax: We have a fleet? Then why must we suffer aboard such a small ship?
Gamora: He means- never mind.
Star-Lord: Focus, guys! Time to get those game faces on.
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: He means you gotta sell the illusion too.
Star-Lord: Exactly!
Rocket: [loud growl]
Drax: Louder! So that it echoes through this entire structure!
Star-Lord: [laughs] Okay, okay... don't wear out his voice before we get there.
(View of the vault.)
Drax: A Ghilaron skull! THAT is truly a priceless trophy! Behold!
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
Star-Lord: A woman with expensive tastes. That's good news for our deal. Come on, we're a team. We stick together. All for one and one for all.
Gamora: That's... surprisingly insightful. Did you just make that up?
Star-Lord: Yup. Just now. Totally off the top of my head.
Gamora: Explains the vault.
Rocket: (Muffled.) Priceless? Vault? Screw this sneaking around! Let's pull of a good, honest heist!
Star-Lord: No!
Gamora: No!
- Follow
Hellraiser: Follow me and pay attention. You will not approach Lady Hellbender's throne. If she chooses to approach you, you will remain still. No erratic movements.
- Delay
Hellraiser: My Mistress is not known for her patience. If you keep her waiting, her offer will be significantly lower.
Gamora: Let's go, Peter.
- Spectating
Hellraiser: You can go in. Be respectful. We just mopped the floor.
(Door to throne room opens.)
Merchant: I am humbled by my Queen's countenance.
Lady Hellbender: [sigh] Spare me your empty platitudes.
Merchant: Apologies my Queen. I meant no offense--
Lady Hellbender: I know what you meant. Do not play me for a fool. You are not the first to claim they have captured a tara-tara.
Merchant: Y-you doubt its authenticity?
Lady Hellbender: If it is what you say it is, prove it. Or, suffer the consequence of every other would-be con artist.
Merchant: I assure you, mi'lady--
Lady Hellbender: I said release it.
(Merchant releases the tara-tara from its cage.)
Star-Lord: [snort] We got this.
(Tara-tara imitates the form of Gnasher and attacks the merchant.)
Merchant: [Death Scream]
Lady Hellbender: (Jumps from her throne. Tara-tara attacks her; she fends it off. It recovers and roars in her face.) You are free here. (Pets its forehead. It transforms back, and leaves tamed.) Bring in the next seller. And transfer ten thousand units to that last one's next of kin.
- Approaching Hellbender
Lady Hellbender: (Guardians approach.) Speak.
Star-Lord: Hey there. I'm Star-Lord. (Hellbender raises a hand to stop him.) Okay...
Lady Hellbender: (Circles around Drax.) Drax the Destroyer. The undoing of the Mad Titan in the flesh. And such flesh. Your presence honors me.
Drax: You are much smaller than I expected.
Lady Hellbender: Oh? And what were you expecting? Perhaps I can do something about it.
Drax: Unlikely.
Lady Hellbender: We'll see, Destroyer. I can be quite... forceful.
Drax: (Low voice. Approaches Peter.) Peter Quill, I believe she is flirting with me.
- Take the lead
- Encourage Drax
Star-Lord: Don't worry man, I got this. Women love me.
Drax: (Nods.)
Star-Lord: (To Hellbender.) Hey there. Hi. Uh, I'm Star-Lord. Drax is actually with me. The leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy? You may have heard of us.
Lady Hellbender: You? No.
Star-Lord: Oh well, let me tell you. Now you have. (Flashes business card.)
Lady Hellbender: Lucky me. What do you want?
Star-Lord: Drax, buddy? Show her.
Drax: (Glances at him.) Show her what?
Star-Lord: The monster, man! Open the cage, show her the monster!
Drax: You should have said that.
Star-Lord: Just play along, man. Flatter her or something. You got this.
Drax: (Nods. Puts hand on Peter's head.) It is for the best. Your negotiation skills are terrible. (Takes a few steps forward. Crosses arms.) Lady Hellbender. I can see by the size of your weapon that you must be a skillful warrior.
(Gamora rolls her eyes while Peter mouths "Oh my God.")
Lady Hellbender: Perhaps I can give you a demonstration sometime.
Drax: You would make an acceptable opponent.
Lady Hellbender: Tell me, Destroyer. What brings you to Seknarf Nine?
Drax: Peter Quill. Show her the creature.
Star-Lord: (Looks in disbelief, then goes to open cage.)
- Selling Groot (Peter negotiating)
(Drax opens the cage and Groot comes out.)
Groot: I AM GROOOOOT!!!!
Lady Hellbender: A Flora colossus...! I thought your kind had been wiped out...
Star-Lord: So, you're interested then?
Lady Hellbender: Four-thousand units.
Rocket: What?! Four-thousand units? Are you frickin' kidding me?! Groot is worth way more than four-thousand units! Tell her, Quill. Tell Lady Nutjob we ain't selling Groot for less than eight.
Lady Hellbender: Lady Nutjob?
- Stress uniqueness
- Suggest other buyers
- N/A
Star-Lord: Look. Groot is worth at least ten-thousand units. You said it yourself. He's the last of his kind.
Lady Hellbender: That you know of.
Rocket: What's that supposed to mean?
Lady Hellbender: It's supposed to mean that even if he is the last of his kind, ten-thousand is still too high.
Rocket: Yeah well, four-thousand units is an insult! I mean, look at the big guy! He's the best buddy you could possibly buy. The best monster!
Gamora: Do something, Peter!
Rocket: Either you pay us what he's worth, or we're walking out of here.
Lady Hellbender: No one is stopping you, little one.
Star-Lord: We've got other offers. Like the Collector, for one. He's willing to pay ten-thousand units.
Lady Hellbender: Floorboard, was it?
Star-Lord: (Quieter.) Star-Lord.
Lady Hellbender: Seknarf Nine might seem like a savage, backwater planet to you, but I have eyes and ears everywhere. If Tivan made an offer on a Flora colossus, I would have heard. Since I heard nothing, it's clear you're lying.
Gamora: More like bluffing.
Rocket: Pfft. And not very well.
Drax: Agreed. Peter Quill's negotiation skills are terrible. («Lady Hellbender did not find you charming, hurting your negotiations.» appears.)
Groot: I am Groot?
Lady Hellbender: Your refusal to speak is a waste of my time, Slumlord. Remove them from my sight and bring in the next seller. (Leaves.)
Gamora: Wait! You're making a mistake. (Hellbender turns to her.) What did you see in Groot's eyes?
Lady Hellbender: Excuse me?
Gamora: When you looked into his eyes, you saw something you recognized. I don't know what, but it meant something to you.
Lady Hellbender: What is your point?
Gamora: You can see what others can't or won't. And what you saw in Groot's eyes was valuable to you. Which is why you know ten-thousand is a good deal.
Lady Hellbender: Apparently, I am not the only one who sees beneath appearances. I accept your terms. («Gamora stepped in to save your negotiations with Lady Hellbender» appears.)
- Stand your ground
- Throw to Drax
- N/A
Star-Lord: I get it. Look, I know it's a lot. And at first glance, Groot doesn't look like much--
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: You tell him, buddy!
Star-Lord: He's a sentient plant from who-knows-where. He doesn't have sharp teeth, claws, or I don't know, monster stuff. But just look into those big, sweet, brown eyes. Groot's a catch. He's worth ten-thousand units. Minimum!
Lady Hellbender: Go on...
Star-Lord: For that price, you get the last Flora whatever and we get compensated for our efforts. It's a win-win for everyone. So what do you say? Do we have a deal?
Lady Hellbender: It seems I misjudged you, Sun-Lord. Nine-thousand. Final offer.
Star-Lord: N-nine-th-? Nine works. Deal.
Star-Lord: Drax, buddy. You've got a good eye for monsters. What do you think a good price is for Groot?
Drax: The creature is a capable warrior, he's loyal, and he possesses regenerative qualities.
Rocket: And he's the best pal a guy could wish for.
Drax: The tree will serve you well, Lady Hellbender. Twelve-thousand units would be sufficient.
Lady Hellbender: Ten-thousand five-hundred. But only because I like you, Destroyer.
Drax: That amount would also be acceptable. («Drax was surprisingly effective at negotiating with Lady Hellbender» appears.)
Lady Hellbender: (If stressed uniqueness.) In fact, since Landlord here has nothing to say, I insist that you do.
Lady Hellbender: (If suggested other buyers.) Enough. This negotiation is over.
Lady Hellbender: Remove them from my sight and bring in the next seller. (Leaves.)
Gamora: Wait! You're making a mistake. (Hellbender turns to her.) What did you see in Groot's eyes?
Lady Hellbender: Excuse me?
Gamora: When you looked into his eyes, you saw something you recognized. I don't know what, but it meant something to you.
Lady Hellbender: What is your point?
Gamora: You can see what others can't or won't. And what you saw in Groot's eyes was valuable to you. Which is why you know ten-thousand is a good deal.
Lady Hellbender: Apparently, I am not the only one who sees beneath appearances. I accept your terms. («Gamora stepped in to save your negotiations with Lady Hellbender» appears.)
(Groot is escorted away by a Hellraiser. Rocket looks at Groot longingly. Gamora brushes his shoulder. They go and Groot is taken away down an elevator. Galactic Unit count rises.)
Lady Hellbender: (Pets monster.) The storms of Seknarf grow ravenous. You will spend the night among my Hellraisers and revel as one of us.
Star-Lord: Yeah! This is great! We'd be... Thank you.
- Selling Groot (Drax negotiating)
(Peter opens the cage and Groot comes out.)
Groot: I AM GROOOOOT!!!!
Lady Hellbender: A Flora colossus...! I thought your kind had been wiped out... Name your terms, Destroyer.
Drax: Twenty-thousand units.
Lady Hellbender: Twenty-thousand?
Drax: The creature is not monstrous, like the creepy little beast-- but it is a capable warrior and possesses regenerative qualities. Also, it is the last of its species. Twenty-thousand units is sufficient compensation.
Lady Hellbender: No.
Rocket: No?! What do you mean, no?!
Lady Hellbender: I mean no.
Rocket: Well, then you're an idiot, lady. Groot, he's the best monster you could buy! Either you pay us what he's worth, or— (Gamora grabs him by the snout.)
- Offer less
- Support Drax
- N/A
Star-Lord: Hey there. Hi. Star-Lord again. The leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Drax was just messing with you. Ten-thousand units would be more than enough.
Drax: The amount I demanded was not a mistake.
Gamora: Don't you think ten-thousand is a more reasonable amount, Drax?
Drax: I do not.
Star-Lord: [laugh] He's- He is just kidding... Ten-thousand units and we throw in a coupon--
Lady Hellbender: ENOUGH! If I wished to hear curs whine, I'd visit the feeding pens. Nine-thousand units for the Flora colossus, Destroyer.
Drax: Nine-thousand, five hundred, and thirty-seven. For the cage.
Lady Hellbender: Deal.
Star-Lord: Rocket! Drax has this!
Drax: Name your terms, then.
Lady Hellbender: Fifteen-thousand. And you stay.
Star-Lord: Whoa, you want to buy Drax?
Lady Hellbender: Not buy. Invest. I could use a warrior like you at my side.
Drax: I have other commitments.
Lady Hellbender: Shame. We could have had such fun together... Twelve-thousand for the Flora colossus then.
Drax: Twelve-thousand is not nearly--
Star-Lord: --not that bad for a Flora whatever! Deal. Twelve-thousand units it is. (Offers handshake. Gets ignored. «Drax was surprisingly effective at negotiating with Lady Hellbender» appears.)
Lady Hellbender: Your demand is too high, Destroyer. Even for the last Flora colossus. Bring in the next seller. (Leaves.)
Gamora: Wait! You're making a mistake. (Hellbender turns to her.) What did you see in Groot's eyes?
Lady Hellbender: Excuse me?
Gamora: When you looked into his eyes, you saw something you recognized. I don't know what, but it meant something to you.
Lady Hellbender: What is your point?
Gamora: You can see what others can't or won't. And what you saw in Groot's eyes was valuable to you. Which is why you know ten-thousand is a good deal.
Lady Hellbender: Apparently, I am not the only one who sees beneath appearances. I accept your terms. («Gamora stepped in to save your negotiations with Lady Hellbender» appears.)
(Groot is escorted away by a Hellraiser. Rocket looks at Groot longingly. Gamora brushes his shoulder. They go and Groot is taken away down an elevator. Galactic Unit count rises.)
Lady Hellbender: (Pets monster.) The storms of Seknarf grow ravenous. You will spend the night among my Hellraisers and revel as one of us.
Star-Lord: Yeah! This is great! We'd be... Thank you.
- Selling Rocket
(Drax/Peter opens the cage and Rocket comes out.)
Rocket: (Stretches.) [groan] It's about flarkin' time.
Lady Hellbender: [laugh] What is it?!
Rocket: IT? It has a name, lady!
Lady Hellbender: And it talks! Adorable! (Pets his head.)
Rocket: Quill... Make. It. Stop!
Lady Hellbender: When will it reach its big size?
Gamora: Big size?
Lady Hellbender: It is a baby, is it not?
- Push cuteness
- Reinforce monstrosity
- N/A
Star-Lord: If you think that's adorable, you should see him drink milk from a saucer.
Rocket: What? I don't even drink milk!
Star-Lord: Tell her, guys. Isn't Rocket super cute?
Gamora: Oh. Yeah. Sometimes we even tie little ribbons with bells to his jumpsuit.
Rocket: [angry breathing]
Lady Hellbender: [laughs]
Star-Lord: Yeah, and if you've never seen a raccoon try to open a refrigerator, you really need to--
Rocket: I ain't a frickin' raccoon!
Lady Hellbender: The raccoon's temper is quite endearing.
Rocket: Okay! That's it! I told you! I ain't a frickin' raccoon. And I sure as hell ain't frickin' cute! (Climbs Groot's harness. Shoots.) [yells] [yells]
Star-Lord: Rocket?! What're you doing?!
Rocket: Plan B, Quill.
Gamora: Guys? Less talking, more escaping!
(Lady Hellbender jumps and attacks, aiming for Peter.)
Drax: (Intercepts her. Exchanges looks with her.) [effort grunt] (Throws her back, and she huffs.)
Rocket: (Atop Groot, grabs explosive.) Who's the monster now? (Throws bomb at throne. Rocks fall covering their escape route just after Peter jumps.) [yells]
Star-Lord: Yeah... I wouldn't pet him like that again unless you want to lose a finger... He bites. Hard.
Lady Hellbender: I admire a creature with some spirit. What would you call it?
Drax: It is a hell-beast.
Lady Hellbender: It doesn't look like much.
Rocket: [heavy sigh]
Lady Hellbender: If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was a woodland creature.
Star-Lord: True. But did we mention it's one of a kind? Just look deep into those angry raccoon eyes--
Rocket: I ain't a frickin' raccoon!
Star-Lord: --And you'll see that there's a monster in there.
Rocket: (Bares teeth.) [heavy breathing]
Star-Lord: A big, scary, trigger-happy monster.
Lady Hellbender: And what would you like for the... hell-beast?
Gamora: Oh, it's a baby alright. Huge baby. Cries all the time.
Rocket: I ain't a frickin' baby.
Drax: It is a full grown Hell-Beast.
Lady Hellbender: Hmm... It is not what I was expecting.
Rocket: Are you freaking kidding me?
Lady Hellbender: But, I could be swayed. What is your asking price?
(Didn't push cuteness.)
Rocket: Twenty thousand units!
Lady Hellbender: Twenty thousand.
Rocket: And not a penny less!
- Stick with amount
- Offer less
- N/A
Star-Lord: Actually, we've already got an offer for twenty thousand units... From the Collector.
Rocket: [heavy sigh]
Lady Hellbender: Floorboard, was it?
Star-Lord: Actually, it's Star-Lord--
Lady Hellbender: Quiet. I know the kind of creatures the Collector seeks. If Tivan had made an offer on a "hell-beast," I would have heard. Since I heard nothing, it's clear you're lying.
Star-Lord: More like bluffing--
Lady Hellbender: SILENCE!.. The creature is worthless to me.
Rocket: Worthless? You're worthless.
Star-Lord: So fifteen-thousand, then?
Rocket: [angry growl]
Lady Hellbender: I wouldn't even feed your "hell-beast" to my pet flerken--
Rocket: You have a pet flerken... and I'm the worthless one?! I'll show you worthless!
Star-Lord: Twenty thousand. Wow. Okay. See, I was thinking more like, twelve?
Lady Hellbender: No.
Star-Lord: Nine, then?
Lady Hellbender: The creature is worthless to me.
Rocket: [heavy sigh]
Lady Hellbender: I would rather buy the Flora colossus.
Gamora: (Low voice.) Told you.
Rocket: What? You want to buy Groot?
Lady Hellbender: Is he for sale?
Rocket: No! He ain't!
Star-Lord: (Grits teeth.) Just think of the money, Rocket.
Rocket: I am, Quill! And Groot's not for sale!
Gamora: Okay. Are you interested or not?
Lady Hellbender: I think that I purchase monsters, not food.
Rocket: [heavy sigh]
Lady Hellbender: I wouldn't even feed this to my Dweller.
Rocket: What?! Food?! Can food do this?!
Rocket: (Climbs Groot's harness. Shoots.) [yells] [yells]
Star-Lord: Rocket?! What're you doing?!
Rocket: Plan B, Quill.
Gamora: Guys? Less talking, more escaping!
(Lady Hellbender jumps and attacks, aiming for Peter.)
Drax: (Intercepts her. Exchanges looks with her.) [effort grunt] (Throws her back, and she huffs.)
Rocket: (Atop Groot, grabs explosive.) Who's the monster now? (Throws bomb at throne. Rocks fall covering their escape route just after Peter jumps.) [yells]
Sneak into Lady Hellbender's throne room[]
(If Groot was sold to Lady Hellbender 1.)
- Afterparty
(Everyone whispering.)
Star-Lord: (To Seknarfian beast-handler.) No, no, of course I will. I'll call you, I'll call you... (To the Guardians.) You guys were supposed to wait for me.
Rocket: You took too long.
Star-Lord: I was establishing an alibi.
Drax: You were flirting with a Seknarfian beast-handler.
Star-Lord: Who confirmed that Groot is definitely probably being kept in the new additions pen.
Gamora: Which is where, exactly?
Star-Lord: Well... We didn't quite get that far.
Rocket: Good thing we're doing my plan. (Takes out tracking device.) Tracker's pointing back to Lady Skullsuit's throne room. So that's where I'm going. (Begins to walk.)
Gamora: (Blocks him with sword.) Tiny little problem. (Nods at sleeping hellraisers.)
Star-Lord: Boy, when these guys go, they go hard.
Drax: They are heavily inebriated.
Gamora: Doesn't mean they're not a threat. Some of my best blade work happens after I've had a few.
Rocket: If a few scutknuckles gotta die to save Groot, so be it.
Star-Lord: Whoa, hey. We're not here to start a war with a woman who's got her own private army.
Gamora: (Quieter.) No, just rob her.
Star-Lord: If we do things right and be quiet, we'll be in and out with no one the wiser.
Drax: (Prepares to kill a hellraiser.)
Star-Lord: Drax! What part of "quiet" don't you understand?
Drax: Dead is quiet, Peter Quill.
Star-Lord: No. Killing. Don't touch anything, don't step on anything, and don't break anything. And don't do anything stupid. If we mess this up, it's game over for Groot. And us...
- Father figures
Rocket: Gotta hand it to the lady: she knows how to throw a party.
Star-Lord: It was like this with the Ravagers too. Yondu was a real "work hard, play hard" sort.
Gamora: Thanos doing either usually ended with murder.
Rocket: We comparin' scutty father figures? Because mine gave me a shock collar for my birthday.
Star-Lord: Once we ditch this place, I will show you guys a real party.
Drax: Ah, I will construct festive headwear worthy of this celebration.
(Idle banter.)
- Fur
Rocket: [sniff] Ugh.
Gamora: What?
Rocket: It's... nothing.
Gamora: I don't smell anything.
Rocket: It's my fur. D'astin' wet, festering, Seknarfian mudball.
- R&R
Drax: I prefer these halls when they are not cluttered by drunken louts.
Rocket: Yeah, they really take "R&R" to the next level.
Gamora: You're surprised?
Rocket: Nope. Just jealous.
- Patrol
Gamora: I can't believe we haven't seen a single patrol.
Rocket: Maybe this is just what "patrol" looks like for the night shift.
Drax: Such lack of work ethic.
Gamora: Maybe. I just don't see them slacking off with a boss like Lady Hellbender.
- Drinking contest
Rocket: Hey, remember that time at Mantlo's on Knowhere?
Gamora: Which one?
Rocket: When the Sakaaran challenged you to a drinking contest.
Gamora: I kinda remember I won.
- Bunk buddies
Gamora: I thought about signing up with the Ravagers for a bit.
Rocket: What happened?
Gamora: It was a phase. I got over it.
Rocket: Maybe you and Quill woulda been bunk buddies.
Gamora: Very over it.
Star-Lord: Hey!
- Drinking
Rocket: I knew just lookin' at these goons, they couldn't handle their drink.
Gamora: I'm not sure you should talk.
Rocket: Why not?
Gamora: Because I can drink more than your entire body weight.
Rocket: Heh, so can I.
- Rescue
Rocket: Now the Ravagers. There's a bunch that knew how to party. How'd I wind up stuck with you lot instead o' joining them?
Drax: The Ravagers are dishonorable killers and thieves.
Gamora: We're literally on our way to steal from Lady Hellbender.
Drax: This is not a theft. It is a rescue.
- Lightweight
Drax: It is shameful that Lady Hellbender's minions are so easily inebriated.
Rocket: Hey, our so-called leader's the biggest lightweight of all.
Star-Lord: I am not a lightweight!
Rocket: Oh yeah? Remember that time at the Iron Lotus?
Star-Lord: No...?
Rocket: I rest my case.
- Break bottles
(Break 1.) Rocket: What happened to being subtle?
(Break 2.) Star-Lord: Oops. My bad.
(Break 3.) Gamora: Are you trying to get us caught? → Star-Lord: It's harder than it looks. → Gamora: It really isn't.
(Break 4.) Drax: Peter Quill, how much did you and the beast-handler imbibe? Your balance is seriously impaired.
- Alerted
Star-Lord: Crap.
Gamora: Flark...
Hellraiser: They're here for the tree! Alert Lady Hellbender!
Rocket: Quill!
- Chasm
Rocket: Throne room entrance is down there, so we just gotta... you know.
Drax: Leap our way across the chasm.
Star-Lord: Quietly.
- Selling Drax
Gamora: Gotta say, this is not what I had in mind when you pitched this whole hero-for-hire thing.
Rocket: Maybe Hellbender'll give you a job.
Gamora: I'm not the one she was interested in.
Rocket: Hah, she's right. We shoulda just sold Drax.
Gamora: That's not what I said.
Rocket: Come on, you were thinkin' it. She was practically begging for a night with the big galoot.
- Tease Drax
- Stick to the plan
- (...)
Star-Lord: Maybe next time we're in a bind, we can auction off a date with Drax.
Drax: Katathians do not "date". We perform feats of virility and are judged worthy or not.
Rocket: That how you wound up with your wife?
Drax: Hovat was the most proficient killer in our village. Her affections were sought after more than most.
Gamora: Sounds like my kind of woman.
Star-Lord: We're not pimps, Rocket. And the plan is going just fine as-is.
Rocket: Still. He coulda strung her along a little. Gotten us closer to Groot or something.
Drax: I will not use my sexual magnetism deceptively.
Star-Lord: Spoken like someone who's never dated.
Gamora: Not everyone has to trick someone into a date.
Drax: My gift is not for sale.
Gamora: Please don't call it your "gift".
Rocket: Just sayin'. You coulda taken one for the team. She clearly wasn't going for Quill.
Gamora: No one's going for Quill.
Star-Lord: How did this get turned around on me?
- Tracker
Rocket: That's it, dead ahead. Past another buncha lightweights.
Gamora: You're sure that tracker of yours is reliable?
Rocket: Trust me, this baby's paid for itself.
Gamora: Oh, you actually paid for it?
Rocket: "Paid". "Stolen". Such ugly words. I prefer "liberated".
- Doubt Rocket
- Trust his doodad
- (...)
Star-Lord: I'm not in love with the whole tracking Groot thing, if I'm honest.
Rocket: What's the big deal? I got tabs on the lot of you.
Gamora: I think not.
Rocket: Think again, lady. You're riiight... Sixty-seven clicks away? Is that the Milano?
Gamora: You're lucky I didn't shove it up--
Star-Lord: No stalking teammates without their consent!
Star-Lord: I trust Rocket's doodad. Remember that time on An-Sara?
Rocket: Ha!
Drax: I remember no such time.
Rocket: Before your days, muscles. Quill got caught stealing eggs from this place on Sakaar.
Gamora: Why am I not surprised?
Rocket: My "doodad" led me straight to him - hiding in a Spike hatchery.
Star-Lord: I was not hiding.
Rocket: Yes, you were. Admit it.
Gamora: Well, if we'd gone with my plan, I'd have Groot out by now.
(Sided with Rocket.)
Rocket: Tough nuts. You're the one who wanted a tie breaker, so don't gimme any sour grapes.
Drax: Where are these sour grapes?
Rocket: I told you to eat before we left.
Drax: This talk of nuts and grapes has renewed my appetite.
(Sided with Gamora.)
Rocket: Don't push it. You're half the reason Groot is stuck in a pen. It shoulda been me in that box.
Gamora: If it had been you, we'd still be broke.
Rocket: Yeah, well, if anything happens to him, I'm holding you and Quill responsible.
Gamora: Just don't get us lost.
- Security hatchway
- Gamora
- Drax
- Rocket
Star-Lord: Okay, Gamora. If you're not sold on Rocket's tracker-thing, you got a better idea?
Gamora: Yes. All of my ideas are better. But it's too late now.
Star-Lord: Drax, I'm thinking we should try to open this door, quietly.
Drax: In that case, I think you should ask someone else.
Star-Lord: Do your magic, Rocket.
Drax: It is not magic.
Rocket: Just sayin', have a little faith, Whoberi. My tech built them thumpers, it's gonna pop this door, and it'll find Groot.
- Hatchway opens
Rocket: Am I good, or am I good?
Drax: Those were the same options.
Activate the elevators to the monster pens[]
(If Groot was sold to Lady Hellbender 2.)
- Controls
(Guardians enter the throne room.)
Rocket: Okay, tracker says... Oh, come on, you skagheap...
Gamora: I knew that thing was junk.
Star-Lord: Look, we saw them take Groot down the elevator, right? So we just gotta find the controls.
Rocket: Lady La-di-dah's probably got them on her fancy chair up there.
Drax: We are down here.
Gamora: Hellbender used some sort of rising stairs. There's got to be a way of activating them from ground level.
(Idle banter.)
- Altitude
Rocket: Can't you just do that flippy thing and get up there, Gamora?
Gamora: Even I've got my limits.
Drax: What IS your maximum altitude?
Gamora: Less than that.
- Night air
Drax: [sniff] The Seknarfian night air is refreshing.
Rocket: Smells like eggs.
Gamora: And burnt hair.
Drax: Indeed...
- Tracker
Gamora: You sure that tracker's fixed?
Rocket: I told you, it ain't broke.
Gamora: I don't like our whole plan relying on some trinket.
Rocket: Well unless you're hiding a map inside that jumpsuit, it's the best we got.
- Cage
Rocket: Come on, buddy, do something.
Gamora: What's wrong?
Rocket: Nothin', it's just that... Groot ain't movin' or nothing.
Drax: Perhaps he is asleep.
Gamora: He's probably just in a cage.
Rocket: "Just" in a cage? Quill, you better be makin' some progress.
- Mind powers
Drax: Perhaps Lady Hellbender operates the elevator with her mind?
Rocket: What??
Drax: We watched her bewitch a tara-tara. Perhaps this is among her powers.
Rocket: Well, failing Magic Elevator Lady, let's entertain the idea that the controls are up on that throne.
- Chair
Rocket: Of course she can't just have a normal friggin' ground-level chair.
Drax: It is intended to inspire fear in her adversaries.
Rocket: It's a crime of efficiency is what it is.
Gamora: Doesn't look too comfortable either.
- Stairs
Gamora: Maybe there's some stairs.
Drax: There are several stairs.
Gamora: I mean stairs down - to Groot.
Rocket: There's a perfectly good elevator.
Gamora: It's not "perfectly good" if we can't get it working.
Rocket: Then we better get it working.
- Elevator
Drax: Are we certain there is in fact an elevator?
Rocket: Of course we're sure! We saw Groot leave on it.
- Delay
Rocket:
(Delay 1.) If we can't find a switch, maybe we can get access to the circuitry itself.
(Delay 2.) Give'r the ol' laser eyes, Quill. See if you can spot a power source or something.
- Boulder
Star-Lord: Drax, think you could lift this thing?
Drax: Easily, but what do you want me to do with it?
Star-Lord: Still working on that.
- Scan structure
Star-Lord: Maybe there's a control panel inside there you can hack.
Rocket: It's possible.
- Throne
Star-Lord: There's definitely something up there.
Rocket: If the chair's wired, the actuator for the stairs is probably not far away.
- Hurl boulder
Star-Lord: Alright, Drax, try to clear that rubble.
Drax: At once!
Star-Lord: Let's see what's hiding back there...
Drax: (Throws boulder, noisily clearing away the rubble.)
Star-Lord: Think you could have made more noise with that?
Drax: Of course, but you did not ask.
- Scan circuit
Star-Lord: There's an access panel or something back here.
Rocket: Perfect. Maybe I can just hotwire the d'ast thing.
- Circuit
Rocket: Alright, I'm sending the schematic to your visor. Just follow the wiring and tell me which junctions to switch.
- Switch junction
Star-Lord:
(Switch 1.) Uh, here? → Rocket: Done. → Star-Lord: Cooool. It changed, I can see it! → Rocket: Doesn't take much to impress you.
(Switch 2.) Switch this. → Rocket: Done.
(Switch 3.) This one.
(Switch 4.) Oh, here. → Rocket: Yep.
(Switch 5.) And here. → Rocket: Got it.
(Idle banter.)
- Wires
Rocket: Ugh, this thing is a mess. There's wires everywhere.
Gamora: Have you seen the Milano?
Rocket: Hey, those are much more organized than they could be. It ain't my fault I ran outta them zip ties.
- Amateur work
Rocket: [groan] What're they doin' tryin' to run this much current through one capacitor?
Gamora: Is there a problem?
Rocket: Just amateurs. This whole board is gonna need to be replaced.
Gamora: Right now?
Rocket: Well... no. But I should at least leave a note.
- Fur
Gamora: What's it like in there, Rocket?
Rocket: Cramped. And dusty. Smells like wet fur.
Drax: That is the smell--
Rocket: I know it's me.
- Relays
Rocket: Pfft. The primary and secondary relays are connected, you zarnooks.
Drax: Your tone conveys negativity.
Rocket: Means if one fails, they both fail.
Drax: That does seem negative.
Rocket: Oh, it ain't great.
- Shock
Rocket: Okay, this one goes here, and that one goes-- OW!
Star-Lord: You okay?
Rocket: Yeah, yeah. You just focus on them junction points.
- Heart
Rocket: [groan] These ground wires are just tied together. Lucky I don't get fried.
Drax: Do not die in that hole, rodent. We will be unable to retrieve your corpse.
Rocket: You're all heart, Drax.
Drax: My heart is only a small component of my anatomy.
Rocket: You said it.
- Connect speaker
Star-Lord: Whoops. Must be Seknarf Soothing Sounds, Volume 2.
Drax: I believe those are monster mating calls.
Star-Lord: Okay... that's a little freaky.
- Connect brazier
Gamora: I think you just triggered Lady H's mood lighting.
Drax: Nonsense. Her mood is measured by the intensity of the storms outside.
Rocket: Quill... maybe stop makin' me power the wrong things?
- Connect mystery switch
(Distant rumbling.)
Rocket: What the flark was that?!
Star-Lord: Uh, just a little slip. No big deal.
Gamora: For all we know, you may have just reconfigured the entire fortress.
Star-Lord: Probably just lowered a hide-a-bed or something.
- Connect hatchway
Gamora: Uh, Peter...?
Hellraiser: What the-- Hey! Get them!
Star-Lord: Close-it-close-it-close-it!
Rocket: Close what?!
Star-Lord: Crap, we've got company!
- Fight
Drax: Is killing permitted now, Peter Quill?
Star-Lord: Yes, now! Kill them now.
Star-Lord: This is all a big misunderstanding! / You guys got the wrong idea!
Rocket: What's to understand? We're winning! / A shot in the head oughta teach 'em!
Gamora: Let's set 'em straight! / Oh, they'll get the point.
Drax: I understand perfectly.
Star-Lord: No more screw ups! / We can't let them alert the whole fortress!
Gamora: Tell me you're talking to yourself.
Drax: The dead tell no tales, Peter Quill.
Rocket: It wasn't OUR screw up!
Star-Lord: Let's put these guys down quickly!
Gamora: As long as no one escapes, we should be good.
Rocket: At least this place is insulated.
Drax: They were foolish not to raise the alarm while they could.
Gamora: None of them can get out of here alive. / Remember, no witnesses.
Star-Lord: You know, you're scary sometimes. Like, ALL times.
Rocket: Oh, you don't have to remind me...
Drax: They will be as silent as the grave.
Gamora: Hope no one misses these guys. / Think these guys will be missed?
Rocket: You can bet I'll forget 'em.
Star-Lord: What's a few henchmen? / Doubt Hellbender can even tell 'em apart.
Drax: How can you tell their gender?
Drax: Did your magical mask malfunction, Peter Quill?
Rocket: His brain malfunctioned.
Gamora: Following directions isn't his strong suit.
Star-Lord: I just got my wires crossed!
Drax: I prefer confrontation to subterfuge. / I HAD grown tired of this sneaking about.
Rocket: You and me both, but we got Groot to worry about!
Gamora: I don't think these guys share your feelings. / You don't strike me as the stealthy sort.
Star-Lord: We're just lucky these walls muffle the sound! / Let's end it quickly and NOT do it again!
Rocket: Can't you follow a simple circuit path?!
Gamora: You know who you're talking to, right?
Star-Lord: Clearly not!
Drax: I saw no paths to follow.
Rocket: If these scuts sound the alarm, it's on you, Quill!
Star-Lord: We won't let that happen!
Gamora: They won't get the chance.
Drax: Their opportunity to do so has passed.
- Fight ends
Star-Lord: Well, that was... not ideal.
Rocket: Hey, no witnesses: no problem.
Star-Lord: Maybe Hellbender won't miss them.
- Connect first node
Star-Lord: Rocket, did that work?
Rocket: It's half-powered, but I don't got enough juice to flip the circuit yet. There's gotta be a second node.
Star-Lord: Okay.
- Connect second node
(Stairs rise.)
Star-Lord: There! Keep it like that: I can get up to the throne now.
Rocket: You better hope that panel actually works, 'cause I'm outta things to tinker with down here.
Star-Lord: Of course it'll work.
Find Groot[]
(If Groot was sold to Lady Hellbender 3.)
- Panel
(Elevator activates.)
Star-Lord: See? Nailed it.
Drax: That is the wrong elevator.
Star-Lord: What?!
Rocket: What?!
Gamora: He's right. Groot went down on the other side.
Rocket: Well it's the only one we got, sweetheart.
Gamora: Call me sweetheart again.
Star-Lord: Look, I'm sure they both lead to the same place.
Drax: Your voice does not convey certainty.
Star-Lord: I'm mostly sure.
- Elevator
Rocket: This is it, we're almost there.
Star-Lord: I gotta say, this is going pri-tee smooth.
- Encountered hellraisers
- No interruptions
Drax: It has been considerably less than smooth.
Star-Lord: Okay, yeah, we had that one kink, but at least no one raised the alarm.
Gamora: That's what you call a kink?
Star-Lord: It'll be smooth sailing from here.
Gamora: Kind of nice, for a change.
Star-Lord: Please. You'd get bored if it was all smooth sailing. Remember the cargo run for the Honchi?
Gamora: I remember you nearly jumping us into a black hole.
Star-Lord: Proves my point. The exciting bits are what stick with you.
Rocket: What the-- piece o' scut!
Gamora: Right on cue.
Rocket: It's not that. Something's wrong!
Star-Lord: Shh! Heads up. More guards.
Drax: I would give a wide berth, Peter Quill.
Rocket: Come on, you hunka junk. Flark!
Gamora: Shhh.
Drax: Shhh.
Star-Lord: Shhh.
Rocket: Anyone else got a bad feeling all of a sudden?
Star-Lord: Rocket, keep it down.
Rocket: Stuff it, Quill. Groot's tracker just went dark.
Star-Lord: You said we're almost there. I'm sure he's fine.
Rocket: You ain't sure of scut. Groot! (Rushes ahead.)
Gamora: That could have gone better.
Star-Lord: Could have gone worse. At least he didn't wake anyone on his way.
Drax: The rodent has tiny, padded feet.
(Idle banter.)
- Dark thoughts
Gamora: Anyone else thinking Groot's tracker may have gone dark because they...
Star-Lord: No! Don't even think like that.
Drax: It is more plausible that the tracker was discovered and has been destroyed.
Star-Lord: Well, that's... better, I guess.
- Headache
Star-Lord: Imagine the headache these guys'll have when they wake up.
Gamora: Let's just make sure we're not here when that happens.
- Jet boots
Star-Lord: Easy does it...
Gamora: We're not the ones wearing jet boots.
- Sporting
Drax: Peter Quill, are you certain it is not best that we simply cut their throats while they sleep?
Star-Lord: Very sporting of you Drax, and yes, I'm sure.
- Leave
Drax: Is it possible the rodent would leave without us, after freeing the tree?
Star-Lord: No, he wouldn't... Maybe we should hurry it up.
- Irritable
Drax: The rodent is more irritable than usual.
Gamora: He didn't want us to sell Groot.
Drax: Nor did I. The tree was an inferior choice.
Gamora: We got paid, didn't we? Now, just a matter of us all getting out of here in one piece.
- Catching up
(Rocket hacks door and rushes ahead.)
Star-Lord: Rocket, wait for us.
Drax: He did not wait.
Star-Lord: Thanks, Drax.
- Architecture
Star-Lord: What's with this place and no railings? It's like they got the architect from the Death Star.
Drax: I am not familiar with that installation.
Gamora: We should probably split up.
- Locked door
Star-Lord: Door's locked.
Gamora: How exactly are we supposed to get out of here?
Star-Lord: I'm working on a plan.
Drax: What plan?
Star-Lord: So far? We don't go that way.
- Assassin's Ring
Star-Lord: (Picks up.) Nice! An assassin's ring. Gamora would get a kick out of this.
- Rhino monster
Star-Lord: Oh, what the heck is that?
Drax: It is my spirit animal: strong, yet beautiful.
Star-Lord: It looks like a rhino slept with a jellyfish.
- Grotesque monster
Star-Lord: Definitely not a fan of... whatever this is.
Drax: This creature is grotesque.
Star-Lord: Yuck. Just... yuck.
- Snot monster
Star-Lord: Whoa. It's like a snot monster, covered in pimples.
Gamora: Sounds like a teenager.
- Flying snake tentacle monster
Star-Lord: Nope. Nope. Don't do spiders, snakes, or weird tentacle things.
Gamora: Didn't you sleep with a "weird tentacle thing?"
Star-Lord: Gillian was not weird.
- Small monster
Star-Lord: Jeez. What sorta creature is bad enough that even Hellbender keeps it in a cage?
- Disgusting monster
Star-Lord: [disgusted noise]
(Idle banter.)
- Floors
Drax: I was expecting more creatures than this.
Gamora: Did you not see the skylight? It looks like there's tons more floors like this below us.
- Cage
Rocket: Flarkin' prison. We should let all these things loose.
Gamora: Doesn't seem so bad. They're like pets.
Rocket: "Like pets"?! Spoken by a woman who ain't spent enough time in a cage.
Gamora: Not all cages have bars.
- Army
Gamora: I'm not seeing any breeding pairs. Maybe she keeps them separate.
Drax: Lady Hellbender would not sully her collection with duplicates.
Gamora: You saw the Warthos: this is no collection. She's amassing an army. No telling how many creatures she's tamed.
- Rarity
Drax: I am familiar with some of these creatures. They are not as rare as I would have expected for Lady Hellbender's collection.
Gamora: Never meet your heroes, Drax.
- Prison
Rocket: This is like the flarkin' Collector's museum all over again.
Drax: At least these beasts seem well cared for.
Rocket: Prison's a prison.
- Mulcha
Star-Lord: Ugh. What is that smell?
Gamora: It's the mulcha.
Star-Lord: The what?
Gamora: The dried grass. Or at least, it's supposed to be dry.
Star-Lord: Yeah, maybe don't leave it out when you've got a hole in your ceiling.
- Finding Groot
- Found by Rocket
- Found by Peter
- Delay
(After Rocket finds Groot.)
Rocket:
(Delay 1.) You gonna help me get him out, or what?
(Delay 2.) Take your sweet time, you zarnooks!
(Delay 3.) Come on, get your asses over here!
- Rescuing Groot
Rocket: Groot! Easy there, bud. I'll get you out in a flash. (Prepares explosive.)
Star-Lord: Whoa, hey! Let's not turn him into kindling.
Drax: Stand back: I will breach the perimeter.
Gamora: It's too thick.
Drax: (Punches the glass. It is unaffected.) ...It is too thick.
Gamora: Who knew?
Rocket: That's it! Just like the Arago job, bud. On three, two-- (Groot opens the cage himself.) Groot! (Runs up and hugs him.) Oh, that d'ast witch stripped you down to your bark! You know, we'da showed up sooner, but twinkle toes-- (Groot starts walking.)
Star-Lord: Good to have you back, Groot. Now all we need is an exit. (Groot walks past him.) Uh... I guess Groot knows the way?
Follow Groot[]
(If Groot was sold to Lady Hellbender 4.)
- Following Groot 1
Rocket: Hey, wait up, bud. What's goin' on? Say something.
Star-Lord: You okay, Groot?
Rocket: Shut it, Quill!
Star-Lord: What did I do?
Rocket: You're the one who insisted on this stupid plan. Now that frickin' monster queen has, I dunno--
Drax: Traumatized him.
Rocket: Exactly! Is that it, big guy? Are you hurt?
(Idle banter.)
- Suspicions
Gamora: (Whisper.) Psst, Peter! Something's not right.
Star-Lord: (Whisper.) What do you mean?
Gamora: (Whisper.) Not sure yet.
Drax: Why are you two whispering?
- Pens
Drax: How was the tree able to open its prison cell?
Star-Lord: I think they're more like pens. You know, like a zoo.
Drax: I am not familiar with this concept.
Star-Lord: It's a place where they keep wild animals in cages.
Drax: You do not appear familiar with the concept of prison.
- Regrets
Rocket: Come on, big guy, don't just clam up. I told you it should have been me in that box.
- Apology
Rocket: I'm sorry, alright? What do you want me to say? Groot...?
- Unlocked door
(Groot opens locked door.)
Star-Lord: (If he checked the door beforehand.) Okay, this door was definitely locked before.
- Theorizing
Drax: Perhaps the tree has been bewitched.
Gamora: She did do something to that tara-tara.
Star-Lord: So, no one's gonna talk about the fact that he's walking around naked?
Rocket: Would you all shut your flarking traps and let me think!
- Rhino monster
Star-Lord: Oooh! Hey there!
- Snot monster
Star-Lord: Scary teeth! Wouldn't want to go toe-to-toe with this thing.
- Following Groot 2
Rocket: Hey, come on, talk to me, bud. What did that Badoon flarker do to you? Groot?
(They walk into a dark room.)
Escape the security drones[]
(If Rocket was sold to Lady Hellbender 1.)
- Slide
Star-Lord: What the flark, Rocket?!
Rocket: You heard that jackal! She wasn't gonna pay two units for me!
Gamora: So, we all get to die, because of your bruised ego?
Rocket: Ego nothing! This is about money!
Drax: Money that we can no longer collect!
Star-Lord: Heads up!
- Airduct
Rocket: Whoo! That was lucky!
Gamora: Nothing about this is lucky.
Star-Lord: We can bicker later. We need to keep moving.
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Where are my drones?! I want the Guardians incinerated!
(Drone appears.)
Star-Lord: What is that?! She's cheating!
Rocket: (Shoots at it.) Die, floaty death-pod!!! (It is unaffected.) It ain't dying, Quill! Try something else!
Star-Lord: We need to find a way out. Now.
- Delay
(Delay 1.) Rocket: Flark! → Drax: Act now or we will all perish! → Gamora: We need to get off this thing.
(Delay 2.) Rocket: That thing's coming in hot. We gotta cool its jets! → Gamora: We still need a way through.
(Delay 3.) Rocket: Quill! Stop wasting time! → Star-Lord: Everyone look for a way out.
- Scan drone
Star-Lord: That's bad! That's very bad! We need an exit!
- Freeze drone
Rocket: That won't hold it for long.
Gamora: We still need a way through.
Star-Lord: Anybody see a way out of here?
- Drone approaches
Star-Lord: No no no no no no!
- Topple crates
Star-Lord: Run! Go!
Gamora: Peter! Jump!
- Plan B
Star-Lord: Alright, go! Let's try and get out of here in one piece.
Rocket: We ain't done yet.
Gamora: Excuse me?
Rocket: I came here for units, and I ain't leaving without them.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Yup! We're gonna clean out that vault we saw on the way up.
Gamora: You can't be serious. Even Peter's not that suicidal.
Rocket: You wanna cut and run, or do you wanna get paid?
Gamora: I want to make it out of here alive. We don't even know where the vault is from here.
- Blame Rocket
- Defuse situation
- (...)
Star-Lord: Don't look at me. Rocket got us into this mess, he can get us out.
Rocket: Piece of cake. We just gotta get back to all them elevators.
Drax: Do not get us killed with your recklessness, rodent.
Rocket: You're lecturing me? You went on an intergalactic killing spree!
Drax: It is not too late to add one more to that spree.
Star-Lord: We don't have time to argue. Hellbender's goons are gonna be here any second.
Rocket: Quill's right. Shut your traps and follow me.
Star-Lord: Not what I'm saying. Let's just find the big elevator we came in on and get the hell out.
Rocket: No wonder we're always poor! You saps don't know how to take what's yours.
Rocket: All we gotta do is get back to that big tube with the elevators.
Gamora: What about the army of monsters?
Rocket: We'll see who the real monster is...
Drax: Her monsters are real monsters.
Rocket: Well they ain't the only ones. Now, come on!
(Idle banter.)
- Slow
Gamora: We should keep moving.
Drax: We are moving.
Gamora: Well we should be doing it faster.
- Arago
Groot: [grunt] I am Groot.
Rocket: Sure, it could have gone smoother. Could have gone worse too. Remember the Arago job?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: We managed to shoot our way out of that one too, didn't we? And swiped that bio-weapon along the way.
- Loot
Rocket: This is all gonna be worth it when we empty that vault.
Drax: It is unknown if we will even be able to access its contents.
Rocket: The only "if" you gotta worry about is if you're gonna be able to carry all that loot.
- Monster food
Rocket: I'm telling you, we can still come out on top of this thing.
Gamora: We'll be lucky if we don't end up on top of a spike.
Drax: It is more likely that Lady Hellbender would feed us to one of her monsters.
Gamora: Thanks, Drax. Something to look forward to.
- Fight begins
Star-Lord: We got company!
Rocket: 'Bout time!
Reach the vault[]
(If Rocket was sold to Lady Hellbender 2.)
- Fight
Star-Lord: Man, she's got no shortage of hired guns. / These guys don't waste any time.
Gamora: Hellbender's not one to negotiate.
Rocket: I got grenades enough for all of 'em! / I'll be sure to kill 'em quick!
Drax: My blades will need resharpening.
Star-Lord: Get a load of those helmets! / How can they even SEE through those helmets?
Gamora: Rookie move: helmets mean blindspots!
Drax: I shall take one as a trophy. / Cranial protection is for the soft-headed.
Rocket: Think their faces are all messed up under there?
Star-Lord: Maybe these guys'll lead us to the elevator.
Gamora: And the trail of bodies will lead straight to us.
Rocket: Vault! We ain't leavin' till we clean out her vault.
Drax: They do not seem agreeable, Peter Quill.
Star-Lord: I always knew we'd be famous! / This must be what it's like to be a rockstar!
Gamora: I don't think they want your autograph. / More like fugitives!
Drax: I am already a renowned killer.
Rocket: Famously deadly!
Gamora: There goes any repeat business. / Don't suppose Hellbender will hire us now.
Rocket: I ain't takin' orders from that skullsuit anyway.
Star-Lord: There's always other gigs. / Maybe she'll forgive us? Maybe.
Drax: Lady Hellbender will not forgive this rebuke.
Gamora: She's going to hunt us to the farthest corner of the galaxy. / Hellbender will search every corner of the galaxy for us.
Rocket: Not if I find her first! / Let her try!
Star-Lord: Then we'd better stay one step ahead.
Drax: The galaxy does not have corners.
Gamora: Too bad we aren't getting paid for THIS. / If I had a unit for every one of these kills...
Star-Lord: We're HEROES for hire, not KILLERS.
Drax: Our payment is our survival. / Then return to your lucrative trade, assassin.
Rocket: Flark, I'll do this for free!
Drax: The rodent was a poor choice for our ploy. / The ill-tempered beast has spoiled our plans.
Rocket: Don't get sour just 'cause you lost a date.
Gamora: YOU'RE the one who wanted to sell him. / It is a Hell-beast!
Star-Lord: Can always count on you to state the obvious, Drax.
Drax: It is beyond question: Lady Hellbender IS flirting with me. / Lady Hellbender displays her affections in Katathian tradition.
Gamora: I think you just broke up, Drax.
Star-Lord: Oh yeah, Drax, she's sooo into you.
Rocket: This guy gets hit on ONCE and it goes right to his head. / Well, we're about to rob your girlfriend.
Drax: Perhaps Nova Corps will accept the rodent as a downpayment. / You will compensate our loss, rodent.
Gamora: Oh, he'll pay, alright...
Rocket: Oh sure, just sell me up the river!
Star-Lord: Let's just worry about getting out of here. / One problem at a time.
Rocket: We're headed the right way. Maybe? Yeah. / I'm tellin' you, I can smell them units.
Gamora: You don't have the faintest clue where we're going.
Drax: Your assurances mean nothing, rodent. / The rodent's sense of direction is questionable.
Star-Lord: That big elevator shaft will be hard to miss.
Rocket: I'm takin' you all for every last unit! / Where's my money, you scutknuckles!?
Star-Lord: I don't think they heard you. / Try checking their pockets.
Gamora: We'd be PAID by now if it weren't for you!
Drax: This is an inefficient means of collection.
Rocket: Ha! Is this your guys' first fight?? / For a warlord, this broad's got wimpy grunts.
Drax: Perhaps the best is yet to come.
Star-Lord: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Gamora: Just keep shooting, before more show up. / They don't need to be good when she's got this many.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: So she's pissed off. She ain't the first.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Well it's a LITTLE LATE for that, ain't it?!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Of course I know! We're goin' THIS way.
- Fight ends
Gamora: Real smooth plan so far.
Rocket: Hey, at least I'm pulling my weight.
Drax: It is not much weight to pull.
Rocket: Joke all you want, but without me, you wouldn't be able to get through this door.
Gamora: Without you, we wouldn't be in front of this door.
(Rocket opens door.)
- Vault in sight
- Blamed Rocket
- Defused situation
- Said nothing
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Five thousand units to the Hellraiser who kills these so-called Guardians of the Galaxy.
(Hellraisers arrive in platform.)
Star-Lord: Okay, people! Let's do this one catastrophe at a time!
- Fight 1
Star-Lord: Watch those elevators!
Drax: My TEMPER is elevated!
Rocket: Flark those things're sturdy!
Gamora: They're coming from all over!
Star-Lord: This is REALLY your plan, Rocket?
Gamora: It's his flark-up is what it is!
Rocket: Just you wait 'n' see!
Drax: Forethought is not the rodent's strength!
Gamora: This vault better be the mother of all payloads.
Rocket: She's rich! It'll be like a Citopian bank!
Drax: Lady Hellbender's amassed treasure is legendary!
Star-Lord: I'd settle for our lives and enough to pay the fine.
Drax: Lady Hellbender should face us herself!
Star-Lord: How 'bout if NO ONE faces us!?
Rocket: You just want another shot at flirting with her!
Gamora: Careful what you wish for.
Rocket: Okay, so we gotta shoot our way into the vault. Big deal!
Star-Lord: Shoot our way in, fine! I'm worried about the way out!
Drax: Her vault is said to be stronger than her convictions.
Gamora: I told you we should've tried to sell her Groot!
- Brawlers
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Find them and kill them! I want their heads!
(Hellraiser Brawlers jump in and attack.)
- Fight 2
Star-Lord: This could be our chance to get out of here.
Drax: Lady Hellbender's minions would beg to differ.
Gamora: We'd be completely exposed trying to escape this way.
Rocket: We ain't leavin' 'till we get paid!
Gamora: Next time, try biting your tongue, Rocket.
Star-Lord: Instead of sticking your foot in your mouth!
Drax: I do not see how injuring his tongue would help.
Rocket: Like you da done any different if she'd patted YOUR head!
Drax: Lady Hellbender proved an apt negotiator.
Gamora: Too bad Rocket ISN'T!
Rocket: She don't know a good deal when it's shooting her in the face!
Star-Lord: She's no pushover, that's for sure!
Rocket: Pfft, just minions?! Where's these famous monsters?
Drax: I agree. These enemies lack luster!
Star-Lord: Don't jinx us!
Gamora: You couldn't hold it together just a little longer, Rocket?
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: NO WAY was I gonna let her take you!
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: No, I could NOT have "handled that better!"
- Approach vault
(Door to the right opens and Hellraisers shoot.)
Star-Lord: Flark! Way too close.
Rocket: Follow them!
- Follow
Drax: [disgusted noise] Fight, cowards!
(Security drones appear on both ends of corridor.)
Gamora: Uh, guys... I think we walked right into a trap!
Star-Lord: Crap!
Drax: No, she said trap.
Star-Lord: Everyone look for a way out.
Gamora: Quickly!
Drax: The murderous eye has returned!
Gamora: Try two.
Rocket: When they collide, it'll blow a nice hole in the wall.
Star-Lord: Yeah, but we'll be dead by then! Find a way out!
- Delay
(Delay 1.) Rocket: We're about to get minced! Do something!
(Delay 2.) Drax: This will not be an honorable death!
(Delay 3.) Groot: I am Groot! → Rocket: He says-- → Star-Lord: I know! I'm thinking!
(Delay 4.) Rocket: Scan the room, Quill!
(Delay 5.) Rocket: Use your flarkin' visor!
(Delay 6.) Gamora: Slow those things down, Peter!
(Delay 7.) Gamora: Hit them with ice!
- Freeze drones
Gamora: Nice. Now what?
Star-Lord: Now we come up with an amazing escape plan.
Rocket: You're the one with the x-ray specs.
- Scan floor grate
Star-Lord: The floor's weaker here, and it looks like there's a tunnel or something below us.
- Floor grate
- Groot
- Gamora
- Drax
- Rocket
Star-Lord: Help us out here, Groot?
Groot: I am Groot?!
Rocket: What do you want, him to grow you some flowers?!
Star-Lord: Can you carve us a hole, Gamora?
Gamora: Flattered, but no chance.
Star-Lord: This has got "Destroyer" written all over it.
Drax: I shall reduce it to rubble. (Hits floor. It collapses.)
Star-Lord: Think you can squeeze in there, Rocket?
Rocket: We get it, I'm small, but I ain't that small.
- Sewer
Rocket: You expect us to crawl through a sewer? I ain't getting wet again!
Gamora: I don't want to hear one word out of you.
Rocket: You all got a real funny way of saying thanks.
Drax: Gratitude is not my current sentiment.
Gamora: More like murderous rage.
Rocket: Keep talking, you ingrates! I'm happy to cut you out of your take from the vault.
Gamora: I'm happy to cut you. Period.
- Confront Rocket
- Defend Rocket
- (...)
Star-Lord: Just admit it, Rocket. We had a plan, and you blew it.
Rocket: The plan was blown the minute it crawled out of your brain. I saved the plan.
Drax: You do not get credit for salvaging your own blunder.
Gamora: The blunder was putting our lives in his grubby little hands. I knew we should have gone with Groot.
Star-Lord: Alright, nobody's perfect. Some of us served a mad titan, and some went a little nuts hunting him down.
(Pushed cuteness.)
Rocket: And some of us get a little twitchy, being called cute and pet like a flarkin' flerken!
Drax: I have been called worse.
Star-Lord: And, knowing you, you probably snapped a bit too.
Gamora: None of this would have happened if we'd just gone with Groot.
(Stuck with amount or offered less.)
Rocket: And some of us get a little touchy, being called worthless.
Star-Lord: You are not worthless, Rocket.
Gamora: But he's clearly worth less to Hellbender. She said she would have bought Groot.
(Kept silent.)
Rocket: And some of us don't appreciate being called food.
Drax: She said you were unworthy of being food.
Star-Lord: Enough. We all make mistakes.
Gamora: The mistake was relying on him in the first place. I told you we should have gone with Groot.
Rocket: Sharp words from a dull woman. Like you'd have done any different in my shoes.
Gamora: I wouldn't have been in your shoes: I wanted to sell Groot.
Rocket: Groot ain't some piece of lumber you can hawk. Though I'm sure you got plenty experience, trafficking lives.
Gamora: Watch your tongue, or I'll cut it out.
Rocket: Oh, I'm shaking, lady. You bring a knife to a gun fight.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Groot says you can all go sit on a hot poker.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: Fine. Fine! You're all against me. But by the end, you'll be lining up to kiss my hairy paws.
(Idle banter.)
- Rat
Gamora: I knew we shouldn't have sold the flarking rat.
Rocket: Who you calling a rat?
Drax: She was clearly referring to you, am I correct?
Gamora: If the shoe fits...
Rocket: Jokes on you: I don't even wear shoes.
- Flattery
Drax: This was not how I envisioned my first encounter with Lady Hellbender.
Rocket: Eh, she ain't scut. I'd bet on you any day, Muscles.
Drax: Do not attempt to flatter me, rodent. Your recklessness has shamed us all.
- Karma
Rocket: [groans] Why'd it have to be water?
Gamora: Think of it as liquid karma.
Drax: It is clearly water. [sniff]
- Guards
Hellraiser: (On floor above.) This way!
Star-Lord: (Whisper.) Everybody quiet! come on
Hellraiser: (On floor above.) Come on, we'll cut them off at the vault.
Rocket: Perfect!
Drax: That does not seem perfect.
Rocket: It means we're headed the right way.
Gamora: Straight into an ambush.
Rocket: If we know it's coming, it ain't an ambush, is it?
- Selling Drax
Gamora: Just another by-the-numbers plan for the Guardians of the Galaxy...
Rocket: What we should have done is sold Drax. Hellbender was practically begging to buy a night with the big galoot.
Drax: My gift is not for sale. The house pest still owes us twelve thousand units.
Rocket: Twelve?! How'd you get twelve?
Drax: It is a measurement of my growing frustration.
(Idle banter.)
- Thugs
Rocket: All we gotta do is grab the goods, hijack one of them elevators and book it back to the Milano. Home free.
Gamora: And we've made a new powerful enemy for life.
Rocket: Please. Hellbender is a thug, and I know thugs. This is all just business to them. She just needs some time to cool off.
Drax: Her body temperature is not the issue.
- Cut
Rocket: I can already feel them units between my paws.
Gamora: We'll probably spend half of them getting Hellbender off our backs.
Rocket: Well it ain't coming out of my cut.
Gamora: You'll be lucky if that's the only cut you need to worry about.
- Robbery
Rocket: I'm telling you, this should have been Plan A. Who needs a piece of the action when you can take the whole game?
Gamora: The idea was not to rob her.
Rocket: How is selling one of us and then busting them out any better?
Drax: It is markedly better.
- Vault room
Rocket: Well take a deep breath, 'cause we're here. One vault, as promised.
Gamora: And a giant, locked door.
Rocket: Leave that to me.
- Fight 1
Gamora: Heads up! Ambush!
Rocket: Yeah, we're ambushing them!
Star-Lord: I can't believe we actually made it!
Drax: Look around, Peter Quill. We are clearly here.
Rocket: I never had a doubt!
Gamora: Getting here is the easy part!
Star-Lord: These Hell-boys are really putting up fight!
Drax: I do not see how you can discern their gender.
Gamora: You'd almost think they don't like getting robbed.
Rocket: Nothing a scutload of units won't fix.
Star-Lord: Maybe we can salvage this mission after all.
Rocket: Sounds like a "you were right, Rocket" to me!
Gamora: That door's still real closed.
Drax: The plan was sound. The rodent underminded it.
Gamora: Getting out of here is going to be a nightmare!
Drax: It is not a nightmare. We are clearly awake.
Star-Lord: One problem at a time.
Rocket: Once we got the units, Hellbender's goons'll turn on her!
Gamora: This is exactly why we should have gone with Groot.
Rocket: Wouldja listen to this one? She's stuck on repeat!
Star-Lord: Not my best choice, I get it!
Drax: I must regretfully agree.
Drax: This reminds me of the Sakaaran battle arena.
Gamora: I'd rather be there right now!
Rocket: Big risk, big reward.
Star-Lord: Whatever you gotta tell yourself.
Drax: I am adding fifty units to your debt, rodent. / I am increasing your debt, rodent. / Fifty more units, rodent.
Gamora: I like this game!
Rocket: You'll get it back as soon as we're in the vault. / Aw, come on! / Yeah, yeah.
Star-Lord: Let's not count our chickens just yet.
Rocket: I flarkin' TOLD you people I knew what I was doing!
Drax: You were not sufficiently convincing.
Gamora: WE knew what we were doing. YOU blew it up!
Star-Lord: Let's just get this done.
Rocket: I can't WAIT to see the look on Lady La-di-dah's face!
Gamora: Count yourself lucky if you don't.
Star-Lord: I'd just as soon we never saw her again.
Drax: I am not familiar with this Lady La-di-dah.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Then she shoulda paid me more respect!
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Well nothin' says "I'm sorry" like a whole lotta units!
- Fight ends
Star-Lord: Okay, coast is clear. You're up, Rocket.
Gamora: Make it fast.
Rocket: Of course. There ain't a lock this side of Xandar I can't pop.
Drax: I am adding to your debt for every extra minute this takes.
Rocket: Keep your manties on. You can't rush genius.
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) All Hellraisers to the main vault!
Rocket: Or I could try rushing and hope for the best!
- Fight 2
(Hellbound, later joined by other enemies, appears.)
Star-Lord: How's it going over there, Rocket?
Rocket: Oh, good thanks, Quill. How are you? I'm trying to freaking concentrate!
Star-Lord: Just looking for an ETA.
Rocket: However long it takes, plus whatever time you waste distracting me.
Star-Lord: Keep 'em clear of Rocket!
Rocket: You heard him: keep 'em off my back!
Gamora: Don't blame me if he gets grazed.
Drax: This is not a strategic plan.
Star-Lord: They just keep coming!
Rocket: Then just keep puttin' 'em down!
Drax: Their persistence is admirable, if frustrating.
Gamora: Are you surprised?
Star-Lord: Any progress? / Any time now, Rocket! / How much longer we gotta hold these guys off?!
Rocket: Don't rush me! / You just shoot, and let me work! / You gonna keep asking?!
Gamora: We've let ourselves get backed into a corner!
Drax: This room is circular.
Rocket: Quit your moanin', I'm tryin' to focus!
Star-Lord: We fought our way in, we can fight our way out!
Gamora: How long are we supposed to keep doing this?
Star-Lord: As long as we can!
Rocket: Keep your boots on! I'm workin' on it!
Drax: The rodent's estimates are unreliable.
Drax: Lady Hellbender's forces grow more persistent.
Star-Lord: Yeah, I think the honeymoon's over.
Gamora: She sure knows how to hold a grudge.
Rocket: Just a lil' bit longer!
Drax: My blades grow weary.
Star-Lord: Then start kicking!
Rocket: Well, we ain't trading places.
Gamora: My PATIENCE grows weary.
Rocket: Open, d'ast you! / Come on, you Seknarfian piece of scut! / Aaaand... Flark!
Star-Lord: Take your time... / You can do this, Rocket! / Keep at it!
Gamora: Great. We're gonna die. / Sounds like it's going great over there.
Drax: The rodent does not inspire much confidence.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: I KNOW! I'm going as fast as I can!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: I can do it! Have a little faith.
- Vault
Rocket: And... pop! (Vault doors open slightly.) Eh. Close enough. Move your asses, while you still got them! (Everyone runs inside while Peter covers them.)
Groot: (Stuck.) [strains with effort]
Star-Lord: (Keeps shooting at oncoming Hellraisers.) Could you suck it in there, Groot?
Groot: I am Groot! (Pushes in.)
Star-Lord: (Stumbles inside. Keeps shooting through the opening.) Drax! Door!
Drax: (Pierces doors with knives.) [effort grunt] (Slides doors shut.)
Rocket: See? Nothing to--
Gamora: You! (Points blade at Rocket.)
Star-Lord: Gamora! No killing teammates!
Gamora: Says who?
Star-Lord: It's literally in your contract.
Drax: (Keeping the door closed.) I made no such commitment.
Groot: (Comes between Rocket and Gamora.) I am Groot.
Gamora: He's a liability, Peter.
Rocket: Ha! Coming from the most wanted woman in the galaxy.
Gamora: (Hisses.) Most deadly.
Rocket: Same thing! How about a "thank you, Rocket?"
Gamora: For nearly getting us killed?!
Rocket: For getting us into... (Cockily swipes blade away.) ...the crappiest vault in the Greater Magellanic Cloud? You said there'd be treasure!
Drax: A ghilaron skull is priceless.
Rocket: Worthless is not the same--
Star-Lord: Guys! We need a plan.
Drax: Agreed! My arms are growing moderately fatigued.
Star-Lord: Dig deep, Drax. Gamora, cover him. Rocket and I will try to find something of value. Groot? Don't break anything.
Groot: [grunt of disapproval]
Steal enough units for your fine[]
(If Rocket was sold to Lady Hellbender 3.)
- Pretty
Rocket: There's gotta be more than just junk in this skagheap.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Pretty ain't priceless. They're just lights, and they look heavy as scut.
(Idle banter.)
- Garbage
Rocket: Who keeps so much garbage under lock and key?
Star-Lord: I used to have a rock collection in a toy treasure chest.
Rocket: Oh, so an idiot does. Got it.
- Unibrow
Rocket: [groan] Bunch of worthless random junk.
Star-Lord: Maybe this stuff is like the Seknarf equivalent of my old Mickey Mantle card with the unibrow.
Drax: The unibrow is a sign of great fertility.
- Skulls
Star-Lord: Man, this lady's really got a thing for skulls.
Gamora: I used to keep trophies from some of my old contracts.
Star-Lord: Like peas in a pod, you two.
- Progress
Gamora: Making much progress there?
Rocket: You'll know when we get what we need.
Gamora: Don't push it.
Rocket: Yeah, yeah.
- Hanging
Gamora: Hanging in there, Drax?
Drax: I am clearly squeezing, not hanging.
Gamora: Right. Well, keep at it.
Drax: That is my intention.
- Ventilation
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Yeah, it's from the ventilation. There's probably a major duct piping into here.
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Huh, good question. Maybe Lady Hellblunder likes to sit in here and look at all her crap.
- Breathe
Gamora: Hey, Drax's neck veins are really popping out. I mean, more than usual.
Star-Lord: We're working on it. Don't forget to breathe, big guy!
Drax: Breathing is an autonomic function.
- Hand
Gamora: Need a hand, Drax?
Drax: I have two and they are sufficient for this task.
- Break
Gamora: I can take over if you need a break.
Drax: You presume too much trust, assassin.
- Searching
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Yeah, we're still looking. Most of this stuff is either worthless, too heavy, or both.
- Dislocated
Drax: [pained grunt]
Star-Lord: What was that?
Gamora: I think Drax's shoulder dislocated.
Drax: Ridiculous. I am fine.
- Delay
Drax: This is taking an inordinate amount of time.
Gamora: I'm coming to help look.
Star-Lord: No, nope. You stay there, safely away from Rocket.
- Scan cannon
Star-Lord: Hey, it's a cannon! From Earth!
Rocket: What kind? Plasma? Neutron?
Star-Lord: Uh... gunpowder. You light it and it shoots a lead ball.
Rocket: Why did I ask? It's Terran. Of course, it's junk.
- Assassin's Ring
Star-Lord: (Picks up.) Nice! An assassin's ring. Gamora would get a kick out of this.
- Pick up units 1
Star-Lord: Well, this is not nothing, but nowhere near what we owe.
Rocket: Units are like fur mites. If she keeps any in here, there's gotta be more.
- Pick up units 2
Star-Lord: Here we go. Not quite enough, but we're getting there.
Rocket: That's what I'm talking about! Not such a bad plan after all.
Gamora: Not exactly good either.
- Pick up units 3
Star-Lord: Alright, this'll cover our fine, at least.
Rocket: Why stop there? After all she put us through, I say we clean her out!
Gamora: What she put us through?
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Enough!
Drax: (Removes knives as attempts outside stop.) Peter Quill, it has grown quiet.
Star-Lord: Quiet like "peace and quiet" or "like the grave" sorta quiet?
Gamora: Definitely the grave one.
Star-Lord: Drax, please tell me you didn't just lock us in.
Drax: I did not do anything.
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) I'm almost impressed. The woodland creature has more bite than I originally perceived.
Rocket: [grunt]
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Enjoy the contents of my vault, Guardians. They will be the last thing you ever see.
Gamora: (Points at vent.) Peter!
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) Shame to waste my Klyntarian gas on such unworthy invaders. Do try not to melt all over my ghilaron skull.
Star-Lord: (Activates visor. Room is filled with green gas.) We need to find a way out. Now.
Lady Hellbender: (Voicespeaker.) It is both priceless and hard to clean.
Break out of the vault[]
(If Rocket was sold to Lady Hellbender 4.)
- Gas
Star-Lord: Deep breath, people!
Rocket: Anyone else feel burning? Like, all over?!
Gamora: Klyntarian gas breaks down organic material, leaving just a pile of sludge-covered bones.
Star-Lord: So let's bust our way out of here while we still have the organs to do it!
- Pick up units 4
Star-Lord: Hey, I found some more units!
Gamora: Are you seriously looking for money right now?!
- Pick up units 5
Star-Lord: Don't mind if I do.
Drax: Do what?
- Vent freeze hint
Gamora: We've got to jam those vents, or the gas will keep pouring in!
Drax: Freeze the lethal gas vents, Peter Quill!
- Delay 1
Rocket: Use them peepers, Quill! I don't wanna end up a stain on this broad's floor.
- Vents unfreeze
Rocket: Crap! They ain't staying frozen, Quill! We gotta get out of here!
- Scan weakness
Star-Lord: There's a way out behind this wall!
Drax: Allow me!
Star-Lord: You're not getting through this with your bare hands! We need something heavy!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Groot's right! One of them lights has gotta be plenty heavy.
- Weak link
Star-Lord: Gamora! Think you can cut loose one of those lights?
Gamora: Heads up! (Light falls and crushes ghilaron skull.)
Rocket: Ha! Now that was priceless!
- Delay 2
Rocket: What're you waiting for, Quill? Get Muscles to huck that thing, unless you plan on doing it yourself.
- Light
Star-Lord: Drax, hurl it right through that wall!
Drax: With all my might! (Creates exit.)
Star-Lord: That'll do her! Let's move, people!
Gamora: I hope you know what you're doing!
Star-Lord: That makes two of us!
- Jump
Star-Lord: Here goes nothing!
Groot: I am Groot!
(They slide and fall into completely dark room.)
Defeat the Dweller-in-Darkness[]
- Trapped
- Chose Groot
- Chose Rocket
(Door closes behind them. A red light illuminates them and two Groots.)
Star-Lord: Oh, crap...
Lady Hellbender: (From cliff high above them.) Guardians of the Galaxy. You fools thought you could cheat me and suffer no consequence?
Rocket: Groot!
Groot: I am Groot.
(The fake Groot transforms back into its true form - a tara-tara.)
Lady Hellbender: Which one of you thought it wise to entrust your absurd scheme to a Flora Colossus?
Rocket: (Walks up to Groot and holds his hand apologetically.)
Lady Hellbender: You call him friend, yet you ignore his very nature? Overlooking the fact that he is--
Star-Lord: The worst liar in history...
Rocket: I told you he can't just pretend to be monstrous!
Lady Hellbender: To his credit, he kept your secret for almost an hour.
Gamora: [grunts in pain]
Rocket: [grunts in pain]
Star-Lord: [grunts in pain] Everyone okay? Gamora? Drax?
Gamora: I'll live.
Drax: My epithelial layer is intact.
Star-Lord: Rocket? Groot? Where are you? (A red light illuminates them.) Oh flark... Does anyone see a way out?
Drax: I see a bright light.
Star-Lord: Well, don't go towards it.
Lady Hellbender: (From cliff high above them.) Guardians of the Galaxy. How many times do I have to kill you?
Gamora: (Whisper.) Stall her, Peter.
Lady Hellbender: The audacity, that you thought you could rob ME.
Star-Lord: For the record, we weren't all onboard with the plan.
Rocket: Thanks, Quill. Why not sell the clothes right off my back?
Lady Hellbender: Do you know what I did to the last people who thought I was easy prey?
Star-Lord: You let them go?
Gamora: (Whisper.) I got nothing, we're trapped.
Drax: Lady Hellbender, let us settle this honorably. I will face you in combat.
Lady Hellbender: Honorably? [scoff] Your offer is worthless, Destroyer. There is no escaping my wrath.
Gamora: I can work with that.
Lady Hellbender: Dweller! Feast upon them!
(Tentacled creatue rises from the pit. Boss introduction title «Dweller-in-Darkness» appears.)
Star-Lord: Okay, that's...
Drax: A true monster!
Rocket: Well let's make it truly dead!
- Fight
Star-Lord: I'm willing to negotiate! / Come on, let's talk about this! / Any chance we could talk this over?
Drax: The sound of your voice appears to enrage her.
Gamora: It's a little late for the sales pitch.
Rocket: Screw talking! Keep shooting!
Lady Hellbender: The time for talk is over. / You waste your last words, Floorboard.
Star-Lord: What does she FEED this thing?!
Drax: No doubt the flesh of its enemies!
Gamora: If we're not careful, US!
Rocket: Whatever it is, it's been getting seconds!
Lady Hellbender: You are about to find out, Guardians.
Star-Lord: Okay, so maybe this wasn't the BEST plan.
Drax: Ridiculous. This is EXHILARATING!
Rocket: We ain't dead yet!
Gamora: I don't think Nova Corps is getting paid...
Lady Hellbender: You thought you could steal from ME?!!
Gamora: She sure knows how to hold a grudge. / This lady's got anger issues.
Drax: It seems that legend holds true.
Rocket: You make that sound like a compliment!
Star-Lord: No going back now!
Lady Hellbender: You have NO idea.
Gamora: Now we know what kind of monster Hellbender likes.
Rocket: The kind that EATS us!
Drax: We should have gone to Maklu IV!
Star-Lord: Little late for that!
Drax: Now THIS is a monster worthy of legend! / The beast is truly formidable!
Rocket: Then we'll be legendary when we kill it!
Gamora: Let's admire it AFTER we kill it.
Star-Lord: If it bleeds, we can kill it!
Lady Hellbender: Die with honor, Destroyer.
Drax: Do not cower behind your pet, Lady Hellbender!
Rocket: Yeah, do us a favor and jump down that pit!
Gamora: She doesn't look like she's cowering!
Star-Lord: Just focus on the thing trying to kill us!
Lady Hellbender: You will not goad me, Destroyer.
Rocket: I always knew I'd get eaten by something! / This thing could swallow us in one bite!
Drax: All creatures eat, and are eaten.
Star-Lord: No one's getting eaten!
Gamora: Assuming we don't get squashed first.
Lady Hellbender: You are a meal UNWORTHY of my Dweller.
Rocket: Green Team, nail those tentacles when they're close!
Drax: I do not possess any nails.
Gamora: Just keep shooting them!
Star-Lord: Let's give this squid everything we've got!
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: It's a little late for that!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: Just keep hitting it!
(Peter freezes first tentacle in puddle. Gamora slices it off.)
Lady Hellbender: What?! You'll pay for that!
(Peter freezes second tentacle in puddle. Gamora slices it off.)
Lady Hellbender: No! Not again! Enough toying with them. End this!
(Spawns jackogel mob.)
Star-Lord: Alright, crowd control!
Gamora: Don't forget about the big one!
Drax: And beware the spined protrusions.
Rocket: Don't have to tell me twice!
Star-Lord: Come on, you overgrown octopus!
Rocket: We're gonna cut you into tiny pieces!
Drax: The creature does not have eight limbs.
Gamora: Just give me an opening!
Star-Lord: Like we didn't have enough problems already.
Gamora: What's a few more?
Drax: Our problems are sufficiently engaging.
Rocket: Hey, at least the jelly things die real good!
Lady Hellbender: I will give you problems.
Star-Lord: Alright! We're making progress!
Gamora: It's running out of arms!
Drax: The beast has learned from its mistake.
Rocket: I'm almost starting to ENJOY this!
Gamora: Come on, just give me a shot.
Drax: You do not possess a firearm.
Rocket: You mean a CUT.
Star-Lord: If I can freeze it, you can slice it!
Gamora: She's not going to let this one go.
Rocket: Let her TRY and find us.
Drax: It would be dishonorable to forgive such a slight.
Star-Lord: That's a problem for later!
Lady Hellbender: Your lives are forfeit.
Drax: The beast must feed upon these gelatinous creatures.
Star-Lord: That's little comfort, Drax.
Gamora: We can't let it get its strength up!
Rocket: As long as it ain't feedin' on us!
Drax: I commend your effort, Lady Hellbender!
Rocket: You're praising her?!
Star-Lord: How about OUR effort?
Gamora: She's still hiding behind someone else!
Lady Hellbender: Your words mean less than nothing.
Rocket: Watch out for more jellies!
Star-Lord: And the other tentacles!
Gamora: And whatever else!
Drax: They are a secondary concern.
Rocket: You don't know who you're messin' with, lady!
Gamora: She won't forget us after this!
Drax: She is clearly familiar with our names.
Star-Lord: Let's not celebrate just yet!
Lady Hellbender: Do not make me laugh!
Groot: I am Grooot!
Rocket: Don't feel bad for it! It's trying to kill us!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: I don't think she cares anymore!
(Peter freezes third tentacle in wall. Gamora slices it off.)
Lady Hellbender: Curse you!
(Peter freezes fourth tentacle in wall. Gamora slices it off, leaving it limbless.)
Lady Hellbender: My Dweller. What have they done to you? This ends now! Rain fire upon them!
(Produces a molten core projectile.)
Star-Lord: Those things're hot 'n' heavy! Get it?
Drax: No!
Gamora: They could be useful.
Rocket: Useful if you wanna get burned!
Star-Lord: Alright, last leg!
Drax: There are no remaining appendages.
Gamora: Poor choice of words.
Rocket: Let's shut that freaking maw!
Lady Hellbender: Rally, my Dweller. Destroy them!
Star-Lord: Things are heating up! Get it??
Rocket: Yeah. And you can COOL IT.
Gamora: Then let's put this one ON ICE!
Drax: The climate does not appear to have changed.
Star-Lord: That thing must get killer heartburn.
Gamora: That's the least of its concerns!
Rocket: Then let's give it some serious indigestion!
Drax: That seems unlikely.
Gamora: Not too late to call this off!
Star-Lord: Yeah! We can just be on our way!
Drax: We have long passed that opportunity.
Rocket: Speak for yourself! This is PAYBACK!
Lady Hellbender: Never!
Gamora: Watch those bombs.
Drax: I would sooner USE them against the beast.
Star-Lord: I'm not about to get blown up now!
Rocket: I say return to sender!
Drax: The end draws nigh, Lady Hellbender!
Star-Lord: Come on, we got this!
Gamora: Don't get careless!
Rocket: We're gonna want to book it to the Milano!
Lady Hellbender: Do not speak my name.
Drax: Your own weapon shall be your downfall!
Star-Lord: Let's end this thing!
Gamora: As long as we don't miss!
Rocket: Ain't revenge sweet?
Rocket: How many lives has this thing got??
Gamora: We'll know soon enough!
Drax: One. And it shall soon end!
Star-Lord: It's one ugly space cat!
Lady Hellbender: Be strong, my pet.
Rocket: OF COURSE this thing spits molten cores!
Drax: I do not see why that was obvious.
Star-Lord: It's getting desperate!
Gamora: Maybe it's been eating those explosive jellies.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: Well don't get your branches blown off!
Groot: I am Groot?
Rocket: They're too hot, ya walkin' timber!
- Fight ends
(Gamora jumps on staggered Dweller and slices its frontal area vertically. It falls onto the wall, which crumbles and creates an opening into the spacedock.)
Star-Lord: Guys... we... we did it!
Lady Hellbender: They live!! [grunt] Bring me Gnasher!
Star-Lord: Everybody! Grab a bike! (They steal hover bikes and retreat to the Milano.) Whoo! Made it out in one piece!
Gamora: We still need to get out of here, and fast!
Star-Lord: Everybody, strap-in!
Rocket: Now that was a ride!
Drax: This is no time to celebrate. We have made an awful mistake.
Rocket: And an awful amount of cash!
Drax: There is no escaping Lady Hellbender's wrath.
Gamora: We'll see about that.
Lady Hellbender: (Riding Gnasher, jumps from mountain onto the Milano.) AAAARGGH!
Star-Lord: What the... (She lands on top of the Milano.) [groan] (Gnasher's tail cracks the cockpit window.) [effort grunt] (She sticks to the ship. Gnasher tears a piece off.) Guys! Hold on! (Tilts the ship.)
Lady Hellbender: (Gnasher lands on its feet. The Milano escapes.) Your bones are mine, Guardians of the Galaxy.
| Scripts |
|---|
| 0: Meredith • 1: A Risky Gamble • 2: Busted • 3: The Cost of Freedom • 4: The Monster Queen • 5: Due or Die • 6: Between a Rock and a Hard Place • 7: Canine Confusion • 8: The Matriarch • 9: Desperate Times • 10: Test of Faith • 11: Mind Over Matter • 12: Knowhere To Run • 13: Against All Odds • 14: Into The Fire • 15: Broken Promises • 16: Magus |
| view · edit · talk |